About Me

Questions About Me

  1. My first love was my dad still is despite everything.
  2. My parents are lovely people , I see myself reflected in them all the time especially my mum. She tries her best to take care of me even as an adult. They don’t get the respect they deserve because none of my family are very highly educated. Despite this my mum has a qualification in secretary studies and worked in Glasgow when she was young before then going into caring. My dads first job was in a butcher which he hated so he left and studied joinery at college. He worked for the council for years and I think we could have been better off if he’d just stuck with the council. My mum started taking serious epileptic fits after giving birth to my brother where she screams and curses and I think it might of traumatized me as a child a bit.
  3. What I ate today: I had toast and Jam with tea for breakfast, shit for lunch, and pizza and chips for tea.
  4. Love: I think love is different from infatuation, I think with infatuation you imagine a perfect life or perfect sex. Where as love is more of a friendship thing, but I doits nice to have a bit of dominance in the bedroom I suppose. Probs a perv for saying that.
  5. My best friend: My best friend is crazy so much so she once jumped on the train tracks and wasn’t even drunk.
  6. A favorite moment would have to be just before the shit happened me when I was 17 and a few of my friends were just out on a cool summers evening, I never used to leave the house so it was special just to watch the sea at night. Definitely would want to live near the coast.
  7. My believes: I used to believe heavily in Marxism so much I gave myself brain damage and would never support it for that reason recently I have kind of been following Christianity.
  8. What I’m wearing: leggings and a t-shirt from Primark.
  9. My Dream is to achieve higher education and become a librarian or support teacher.
  10. My siblings I have one older brother.
  11. My favourite food. Takeaway pizza or Christmas dinner.

The Last Ten Books Tag

Meg's Magical Musings

I found this tag on Charlotte, Somewhere. There really weren’t any rules. Pretty much it was answering the questions.

The Last Book I Gave Up On– So far haven’t given up on a book

The Last Book I Re-Read– The Last Battle. Well, more like the entire Chronicles or Narnia series

The Last Book I Bought– It really belongs to two books. Those are the first two Nevermoor books.

The Last Book I Said I Read, But Didn’t– Never did this either

The Last Book I Wrote In The Margins Of– Most likely this was Les Misérables

The Last Book I Had Signed– Well, it was more like a church friend giving me a signed book. Not me going to get a book signed. Despite not liking the Wicked book by Gregory McGuire, I still have a signed edition with a drawing of…

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Film Review

Bomb City – Review

Bomb city is based on the true story of the death of Brian Deneck in 1997. The film shows the conflict and isolation between the more wealthier jocks and the punks of the town and the violence that occurs between the two groups that leads to the murder of Brian Deneck and how no one was sentenced for it.

In todays society we would call these kids punks , goths , underclass because of the music they listen to , clothes they where , wither their on drugs. In the film we see the group violently attacked and violated by the police and the more wealthier part of the town.

 The film reveals the prejudice and injustice in the legal system at the time.

There are many clashes between the Jocks and the punks but one night the violence comes to a peak when the two groups are fighting in a local car park leading to the death of Brian Deneck. When taken to court the verdict was not guilty.

The main theme in the film is conflict , put love and friendship play a big part to. Brian is determined to keep his girlfriend safe at one point telling her she shouldn’t go out unarmed , because he doesn’t trust or feel safe in the community where he lives.

At one point the gang are chased by the police for spray-painting. The police storm their flat without a warrant forcing them to the ground and spraying pepper spray in one of their eyes.

Overall this film relates a lot to what we still see today the injustice in the police and just in general the relationship between rich and poor.   

Of Mice and Men Review

Of Mice and Men – Review

Maybe you should put a bullet through my head like they do with sick horses, maybe they’ll have to put a bullet through your head one day too. – Peaky Blinders

I have to admit this is the first book I have properly started to read in a long time. It was the name that attracted me at first as the title of the book was inspired by Robert Burns To A Mouse.The book was written in 1937 and is told in third person.  However, the plot line also interested me. Its about two friends one of whom is mentally disabled.

Both of them have fallen on hard times drifting about living in the woods , both unemployed. At the start of the book we can tell the frustration between the two friends. For instance, Lennie picks up a dead mouse and wants to keep it and his friend has to talk him round putting it down. Also Lennie complains that he wants ketchup with his beans and his friend tells him sharply their isn’t any. Personally being slightly disabled myself I feel empathy for Lennie.

The main theme in the book is companionship as throughout the book the two friends are always together.

They go to a ranch in hope of finding work. The farm is symbolic of the American dream they come to the ranch hoping they can own their own land and have freedom in their toil. Instead their forced into an oppressive job full of fear and isolation. They don’t particularly like the ranch but have to stay for the money.  At the ranch they meet Candy an old handyman. Candy owns an old dog which everyone in the ranch agrees they should shoot. The dog represents a being who has outlived his or her purpose in life. Despite Candys objection the dog gets shot. It is also symbolic of the weak overpowering the strong.

Curley is the main antagonist of the story and owns the ranch. From the very start he is rude to Lennie because he has learning disabilities and likes to pick on those weaker than themselves. (Something that unfortunately seems like it never changes in our society.) Curleys wife also takes an interest In Lennie which makes the whole atmosphere of the book tense and hostile.

Overall the book is quite interesting and has some interesting characters and conflict in it. It creates a sense of what being poor and disabled at that moment in history was like in America which no other author has really achieved. Really good book.

Voting ?

Should I vote Labour , SNP or …Tory?

Personally I want to start of by saying I’m sick of the SNPs propaganda I literally hate the party. I just feel like they could do better I almost feel sorry for them with all of the grief we’ve experienced this year.Actually correction I dont think I could have a simple act of sympathy for the snp. I feel that Scottish labour is the only party that can really make a difference to scotland. We dont need rallies with flags and irn bru we need a party who actually care about the most vulnerable in our society such as low wage workers , the disabled and long term unemployed. Even the conservative party want to put more money into the health service.

More over I think the NHS has came to a breaking point and it shouldn’t be free for everyone , if you have enough money you should pay so that we can have a better health care service for everyone. The middle class are only voting for SNP so they can get free university access and prescriptions while the lower side of society suffer.

We use these things to seem superior to England and other countries when really our education and healthcare are suffering and generation after generation are slipping through the net. The conservative party even pulled us out of a fascist European union. People with professional jobs just dont understand the need for jobs , for those at the bottom of society which are taken by foreigners. They just happily skip along in ignorantly thinking the job market is great. The SNP are charming but in reality their just watered down conservatives.

I can actually say this right now at this moment I would literally vote conservative over SNP. If I had to! I really don’t agree or understand what they do but at least even in a country of conservative rule , youd her better treatment than the slums where I live. Overall I want a party that can look after me , not one that breaks me!

I wish I could Rewind the clock !

I wish I could rewind the clock
Like a tape recorder.
So i could sit in that cardboard box
Or bake with my mum.
I long to go back to that couch and watch ghost adventures with my brother and for the night to slip away while we cowered beneath a cover.

I wish I could have toast with my nana at her kitchen table.
Or help her with her scrap book that disappeared.
I think if she new she’d be angry for once ,  perhaps from out of fear.

I wish my gran could read me the wishing chair as a child.
Or make me chocolate spread on toast.
What is there anymore no money,  no life , no hope!

Perhaps I could go back to my English classroom and have a bit of fun!
Instead I’m standing looking down the barrel of a gun.

We could of had a council house with proper rooms or cartons of orange juice instead of frozen food !
But be careful where you point your finger it might come back to you !

What if his had not happened
And we were still hanging about down the point
He offered me a cigarette
I should of smoked a joint! 

I wish I could wash the names out of their mouths with turps.
I don’t want attention , only the peaceful song of morning birds.

My clothes still smell like the flat that I chucked you out of.

My Favorite Film Of 2020

Lady Chatterley’s Lover is a novel by English author D. H. Lawrence, first published privately in 1928 in Italy and in 1929 in France.[2] An unexpurgated edition was not published openly in the United Kingdom until 1960, when it was the subject of a watershed obscenity trial against the publisher Penguin Books. Penguin won the case and quickly sold three million copies.

The current BBC Drama was released on the 6th of December 2015 and is a romantic Drama set in the 1920s . One major theme in the film is class divide. Lady chatterer is happily married to arcisoft however after the war cliffered whom is confined to a wheel chair and unable to produce offspring. She grows restless with the fact that her husband is not the same and begins an affair with the grounds gamekeeper who had also served in her ranks during WW1. In the 1920s It was frowned upon and a scandal for a lady to have a relationship with a lower class man let alone an affair.

One of the things I didn’t enjoy about this film is the romance of of poorer life which we see in books also , we even see it in major films like blockbusters where the third class party was the fun , even though currently (well not even currently because of lockdown) All you get are a few people in the pubs and its really not much of a party , but this film is like choose a class and they always chose the bottom class because why would you not not ?Who wouldn’t want to live in disease and rat infested places? No offense to the game keeper would def fuck him like. ]

I just wanted locozade

I just wanted Lucozade

I just wanted fags

I just wanted someone who new the honest facts

I just wanted a council house

Instead of solitary confident

I just wanted a tv

Instead of music dad

You used to love me once ago when I slept upon your knee

But love withers

Like the leaves upon a tree.

Why can’t you just stand their

For once instead of me.

Things My Family and Society Do not Understand about having a mental disability.

Living with a disability Things I don’t understand about my family and that others don’t too

  • Walking me at half 8 in the morning even though I struggle to sleep enough as it is
  • Worrying about me taking my pills even though I’m recovering from an overdose
  • Forcing pills down my throat even though I recently nearly just died
  • Complaining about me watching tv even though I don’t do enough of it
  • Just in general being moronic
  • Forgetting that I’m twenty years old and can make my own choices
  • Me having acute co-dependency issues on them and them dominating my life
  • Forcing me to take pills even though I nearly Just died.
  • Me kinda wanting a carer but the nhs just refusing to give me one
  • Forcing me to take pills even though I just died
  • Complaining about the time I go to bed and then walking me at eight in the morning
  • Saying they love me but then leaving me for like two years to sit in my room and give myself brain damage
  • Then saying they thought that was normal teenage behavior

So thanks to my family I’m a co-dependent sleep deprived, recently overdosed, demented mess. Thanks guys. Love you too.